Death

        I saw him for a last time.  My ugly, atrocious brother was the one to shoot the arrow that hit me.  I fell of my horse and hit the rough, hard ground.  From where I lied I witnessed the battle.  Many of my trained men went down, while others managed to kill multiple Fringemen.  I was surprised to see that nobody came to my aid.  They all thought that I died right away; they were wrong.  I was suffering for a good twenty five minutes before death came upon me.  But it wasn’t from the arrow.  The arrow must have struck me in a part of my body that was muscular because the arrow did not hit my heart.  A sticky, spider web like substance fell from the sky.  At First I though it was a form of deviated snow that fell in the winter of the Fringes.  I didn’t want it to hit my face because I thought it might affect the nerves in my body, so when one happened to land on my face I moved my arm up to wipe it off.  That’s when I realized they tightened.  All of the webs grew and spread all over my body.  The more I moved, the tighter they became.  I tried to call for help and that’s when I realized that the battlefield went silent.  Men were struggling to fight the web that was now covering them.  I tried to yell at them to stop moving but the web had already covered my mouth and I couldn’t speak.  I couldn’t feel my arms or legs and I was beginning to become nauseous.  The web moved from my nose to my eyes.  I closed my eyes and gave in.  The web had taken over me.                     

Off to the Fringes

        That delinquent has done it again.  I woke up this morning and what did I see? Nothing; My son and my daughter were both missing from their rooms.  I sent out a search party at once.  I may be a fundamentalist, but I am a father.  I thought they might be missing, or kidnapped, or hurt.  I was wrong.  They ran off.  They took most of their belongings and left, in the middle of the night.  I expected them to return, a little after dawn; maybe they went out for a horseback ride or something. So when the search parties were looking I was sitting at home comforting my wife and waiting for the time when my children would return home.  I had punishments ready and everything.  Then I realized they weren’t coming back.  I was told the news about how my kids were said to be blasphemies, they tortured those two girls until they told the truth.  I couldn’t believe it.  They were blasphemies! Why are they living in Waknuk?  The community of Waknuk does not tolerate imperfect people.  I gathered the army and set out to follow my children and those Fringemen.  My own children have been helping the Fringemen.  All the deviated people must have these telepathic powers.  They must have been communicating with each other and are planning an attack on us Waknukians.  I am going to invade the Fringes and destroy all of the deviants living there before they can destroy me first. 

ANGUS MORTON!

        I hate Angus Morton.  He says he is a fundamentalist like me but he brought in these gigantic horses that he claims are government approved.  I don’t understand. They do not look like the other horses that we use in Waknuk and so they are deviated and should not be living among us. 

Harriet

        Harriet is my lovely wife’s not so lovely older sister.  She is another one all together.  I thought David was bad.  David is a foolish child who with my teachings will grow into a fine young man.  Harriet on the other hand can never learn.  She came to my house and asked my wife to switch babies with her so that she could pass the inspection and keep one of her babies.  I do not care if Harriet had three other babies and I sent them all away.  I did what God asks of everyone. I got rid of the bad to ensure only the good lives.  She wanted to try to keep a deviation and try to hide it from me, the leader of this community.  This behaviour will not be tolerated in my family.  My wife knew it too.  She called me to come and escort Harriet out of our house, for she wasn’t willing to give up our child to help her sister with something that is against the laws of her own family and God.  I was exceptionally proud of my wife.  She is a strong woman who I love with all my heart, even though sometimes I do not show it.  I am actually a kind and caring man.  Follow my rules, get on my good side, and become a religious fundamentalist and you can live peacefully in Waknuk.  Do the opposite like Harriet and you are permanently on my bad side, somewhere you do not want to be.  So I wasn’t really sad to see her go.  She deserved it. Nobody who tries to disobey the laws of God deserves to live in this beautiful world. 

Misbehaviour!

        Today my very irresponsible and juvenile child disgraced himself as well as the family name he carries.  We were all just minding our own business, setting the table and getting ready for our evening meal when David did it.  He took us all for surprise.  He asked for a third hand!  A THIRD HAND!  He knows all of the rules and the laws.  Only the image of God is man, and the image only has two hands, any other number in unacceptable and should be destroyed or sent to the fringes at once.  I do not care who it is.  I would send my own mother to the Fringes if she was a blasphemy.  I am alive because God wants me to heal the human race by getting rid of the deviations of the world.  I am here to develop the world in the eyes of God.  But he wished for himself to become a blasphemy, something the entire Waknuk community doesn’t believe in.  Something the entire world shouldn’t believe in.  The worst thing of all, it was my own son who did it.  I have been teaching him my entire life.  I want to make sure my som knows all the proper rules so that one day when I am gone, he can be the ruler of Waknuk and make my name respected, not disregarded.  I was so disappointed in him that I used my very effective style of parenting and sent him to his room after a meeting with the family whip.  I doubt he will ever do something disgraceful again.